Some random non-sense [as Soumya'd call it..]

(15 [written in red]in one box + 19 in the one right below)/2.
I felt relieved that i've 2 marks more than the required average and blissfully forgot all the things i'd 'studied' [at the rate of 1 page an hour]

I scribbled some krap for some 10 marks.It took only 5 minutes.
Manasa was besides busy writing[She slogs a lot,poor girl].
I closed the blue book,capped my pen and sat simply.
Shri from behind asked if i wanted the 'chit' he'd got.I said no.

I returned my blue-book back and walked out to sit near the stairs where there was,just a week back,a huge bee-hive.

I was waiting for manasa to come out so that we could discuss more about why our project isn't working at college.I wondered for a moment why i was not bothered about not having got a 25 as i'd 've been just till last semester.

I could see a few people from where i sat-Farah waved at me;Greeshma was busy turning back to check her answers with someone whom i cudn't see..Then there was my to-be colleague who'd bitched about my project being way too simple compared to what her team'd got.. and one junior guy gesturing madly at his friend to keep his book in a position from where he could copy properly..there was kushal who'd not looked up yet and a few others.

I sat there with the half-sheet of question paper.I tore it into 2,made folds to make a glider and a rocket. I tried the glider first.Kushal saw it glide all smooth with a perfect landing and gave me a thumbs-up.

Garfield[read RSP] & sHystem[read umesh sir] were busy invigilating.

Jackie[read jayashankra(sir)] came out the class before i could try the rocket.I'd expected him to enquire about what went wrong with my project demo.He didn't.Apparently because his colleague, Mr.half-open-eyed-beast, was around.

I remembered that i'd spent almost 2 days in making paper rockets during my first PU after i'd read a few books on paper-rockets in the library!

I felt glad that i still managed to make neat gliders
and that i'd left my cell back home
and that i needn't type in messages.

Somebody had taken 3/4th of the bee-hive for its honey..there was only a small portion that was left hanging.It looked so incomplete and pale..like it hung there only to dry up someday and fall..

And suddenly i felt so alone and happy.

P.S- Soumya,mansa,shri,farah,kushal,greeshma are friends.
Jackie,Garfield,sHystem are foes[well,almost]. :P

And then,it all turned ugly..

Like an iceberg,i feel..seemingly enjoying all the warmth of the sunrays falling over;
cold and frozen deep within..barren,lonely and looted.

This numbness-i wish i would atleast hope to see it gone..
But,I feel addicted to it.
It comforts.
Like nothing else.

I wish i could cry and give myself some solace.
Not being devoid of tears would have been a relief!
Alas!

Analog VS Digital

I see only the extremes - white and black , yes and no , silence and noise ;
I fail to see millions of the other shades which lie in between,you complained
[maybe you only said it.But,it sounded to me like you complained.I know it wasn't actually a complain.]



Why i categorize everything under the hood of truthfullness and falsity,i wonder..
i don't seek to know what lies in between..>> I may sound square-wavish..You may choose to call me a nincompoop :)

I've gotten myself used to live with zeroes and ones..
I see fullness in silence..in a yes..in a no and in a zero..in black and in white - for i know it contains all the colors and all the shades you speak of..

Maybe someday,i'll see pragmatically and start appreciating the sinosity!

A thousand splendid suns - Khaled Hosseini

To all mothers and daughters who strive in their own Kabuls..[ "like rocks in a riverbed , enduring without complaint , their grace not sullied but shaped by the turbulence that wash over them.."]

To all Nanas' and Mariam jos' who endure Jalils' and Rasheeds'..

And to all Lailas' and Azizas' who cherish Tariqs' presence in their lives..


"One could not count the moons that shimmer on her roofs,
Or the thousand splendid suns that hide behind her walls."

                            -Translated lines from a poem of one Persian poet Saeb-e-tabrizi from where the title of the novel is taken

Solitude

Tempt me not to load my boat with debt
but give me leave to go away empty-handed
lest the price of love that you recklessly pay
should only reveal the poorness of my heart!

I can but litter your life with shreds of my pain
and keep you awake at night with the moon of my lonely dreams
It is better that i remain speechless
and help you to forget me.

While walking on my solitary way,
i met you at the dusk of night fall
I was about to ask you to take my hand
when i gazed at your face and was afraid
for i saw there the glow of fire that lay asleep
in the deep of your hearts' dark silence.
If in my frenzy i waken it up into flames
it will shed a glimmer on the brink of my emptiness

I know what sacrifice is mine
to offer to your loves' sacred fire.

I bend my head and trudge onto my barren end
provisioned with the remembrance of our meeting.

   - Gurudev Rabindranath Tagore